Vegas is not for me

So I've been in Vegas a total of 8 hours (and the first hour was spent checking into Bally's and wending my way thru the Taxi Line maze - really, I've been in shorter lines for the Matterhorn). Then I had lunch with some colleagues - that's another hour down. Then I wandered the casino and went over to the French casino next door [eyes rolling]

I was hiding in my room by 2:30 pm. Took a nap and ventured back out again about 5:00 pm - was back in my room by 5:45. I thought I was being wise in staying only 18 hours for this speaking gig - I'd fly in Thursday and have a single afternoon/evening of Vegas stuff. Then I'd speak Friday morning and run like hell for the airport. Clearly, I overestimated my staying power.

Setting the sensory overload aside (lights! bells! buzzes!!), people just don't look happy here. They all seem so intensely focused on their machines or cards or roulette wheel . . . and slightly desperate and cranky. And the workers all look rather depressed.

My overpriced entertainment options (if I want to avoid the casino vibe) include We Will Rock You! (some kinda musical based entirely on the music of Queen), scary commercials for Celine Dion's show at Ceasar's, some kind of hypno/commedian dude whose signs downstairs (let alone the commercials on TV) frighten me. . . and it goes downhill from there.

And did I mention that there are 40 TV stations in the room . .. and over half of them are pure advertisements for Vegas shows and/or painfully bad "tips" on how to gamble (all done with celebrity impersonators - I've flipped past Judge Judy on Baccarat lite; Joan Rivers doing blackjack; and Cher doing . . . gawd, who know -I frantically started clicking the remote at that point).

I spent 20 bucks on slots - was up for a while, then all gone. Spent another 20 in my second foray and . . . I'm done. How do people piss away money that way? Yes, I gave myself a small budget to piss away . . . and I still can't do it. What's fun about this? I enjoy blackjack or texas hold 'em . . . but really, I only enjoy playing these games when there's no money on the table. Putting money on the table just stresses me and makes me feel wasteful and like a sucker (which I believe is the entire concept of Vegas, right?).

I just don't get Vegas. Off to the ALA evening reception (wooo-hoo! time to hang with large group of legal administrators . . . and I'm not being sarcastic - this genuinely is my best option). Pray for me . . . I can't wait to get home tomorrow.

PS - can you believe Bally's gouged me six freaking dollars to do online check-in for tomorrow's flight and print out my boarding pass? The resort in Phoenix did it as a courtesy for all guests. I cannot believe the "gotta getcher money" vibe of this place. [official end of whine]